WanderingDan’s Weblog


par for course…
September 25, 2012, 10:37 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

We’re about a hundred miles south of Berkeley now…and both thoroughly exhausted. Having had only broken sleep the past three nights, roasting in the West Valley sun all weekend all the while suffering a marginal diet of sugar and grease and leftover liqueurs from our home bar, on top of being on the road all day today, have taken their energetic toll. Perhaps this explains why I don’t see the highway patrol car until after blasting by it at fifteen over the speed limit… I’m screwed…I know it, especially since the other cars saw him in time and slowed down…SHIT! Perhaps if I wasn’t half asleep I’d have seen him too.

Red lights turn on and I pull off the highway and onto the shoulder of the northbound 101…a voice comes over the loud speaker: “further to your right please”…so I do. I look over at Renee, rolling my eyes and laughing at the comedy of this situation. About thirty miles back when we gassed up the car, Renee’s face was hurting…where she hit herself square in the nose opening up the car door earlier today as we were leaving the valley. I keep my travel acupuncture kit with me…I mean, don’t most acupuncturists keep some variant of kit with which to practice their craft? So at the gas station I put a bunch of needles in Renee’s face, head and arm.  I think to myself: “Wow…this is rich, let’s see how this plays out.”

Officer Correa comes to the passenger side of the car, looks at us both, and to my surprise maintains completely neutral composure about Renee’s pin-cushion face. “You guys just passing through?” (in reference to the Minnesota plates on the car).

“Nope, just moved out of L.A.” I say, which is believable since the SUV is packed full of our crap…everything we own in fact. With a quizzical look he replies “can I see your driver’s license” …I hand it to him… “where you headed?” I answer: “I’m visiting family, then flying out of the country for a job” …skepticism is creeping into his facial expression, “registration & insurance” …I look at Renee, who starts shuffling through myriad crinkled up pieces of paper in the glove box, center console…side pockets…all to no avail. “I can’t find it…I think it might be in one of the suitcases back there” (pointing to the masterfully designed luggage-tetris behind us). He looks at us, then looks behind us…then back at us “may I see your driver’s license too”. Says Renee: “I don’t know where it is, but here’s my passport” (and hands it over). He opens it up and a twenty dollar bill falls out… “Oh my God, that’s not what you think!” says Renee, followed by “that was meant for someone else.” My jaw drops…thank god this highway patrolman has a sense of humor. He laughs, hands Renee the bill, and walks back to his car to write my ticket. Renee turns to me: “that was meant for the Brazilian consulate who didn’t want to process my visa…” We both start laughing. “Do you want me to take those needles out?” I ask, to which she replies “what’s the point, he already saw them” We start laughing some more…I guess this is my welcome back to the gypsy life.

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